Teenage Anxiety, The Stress of College Competition (2nd of a 2 Part Series)

By Christina Dalton, MS, PPS, PCC, EYH Life Coach

InJuly’s issue of Danville Living, I introduced the importance of recognizing anxiety and stress in your high school student. I also discussed common symptoms a parent may want to be aware of as their child navigates through high school. Let’s now discuss how you, the parent, can partner with your child to support them in their high school to college journey.

If you are concerned that your teenager may be experiencing stress or anxiety, it is important to talk to them about it. You can also talk to their doctor or a mental health professional if there are any signs of self harm. There are many effective treatments available for stress and anxiety, and early intervention can make a big difference. If the stress and anxiety can be attributed to the pressures to get into college a parent can offer many important tools to support their child. Here are some to guide you in supporting your teen:

1. Reassure your child that you love and support them, no matter what. Let them know that their worth is not defined by their grades or college admissions.

2. Help them to set realistic expectations. It’s important to remember that not everyone gets into their dream school, and that’s okay. There are many great colleges out there, and your child will be successful wherever they go.

3. Encourage them to take breaks and relax. It’s important for students to have a healthy balance between work and play. Encourage them to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. (Endorphins can be the best medicine for a healthy mind.)

4. Help them to develop healthy coping mechanisms. If your child is feeling overwhelmed, talk to them about healthy ways to manage their stress. Some helpful coping mechanisms include exercise, relaxation techniques, and talking to a certified coach.

5. Seek professional help if needed. If your child is struggling to cope with their stress and there is possible self harm, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or a certified coach can provide your child with the support and guidance they need to manage their anxiety and stress.

Other additional tips that may be helpful are:

• Help your child to develop a positive attitude. Encourage them to focus on the things they are good at, and to set realistic goals for themselves. This is especially important as your teen develops their portfolio.

• Help your child to develop a strong support network. Encourage them to spend time with friends and family who make them feel good about themselves.

• Help your child to find meaning in their life. Encourage them to find activities that they are passionate about and that give them a sense of purpose. This is also what the colleges value in the application process.

Keep in mind that if the stress is attributed to the expectations of being competitive in the college application process, the more you understand what colleges are looking for can alleviate some of the stress. Yes, the colleges want your child to have extracurriculars in their portfolio. However, the extracurriculars ideally should be ones that your child is passionate about and gets a lot of joy from. it is OK if your child has struggled. What is more important is what your child has learned from their struggles as they write their essays for college. The colleges want to understand how your child has persevered through their struggles. Failing is not the issue. What your child has learned is what is important. School and extracurriculars should not be painful. If your teenager is not having fun, it may be time to regroup and discover what your child truly is passionate about.

As a parent, you are not alone in this. There are many parents who are going through the same thing. If you are struggling to help your child, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you. As the principal of EYHLifeCoach, I am here to support you and your child in this transition. I specialize in partnering with my clients to navigate their passions to attain realistic goals.

Christina Dalton is the Principal of EYH Life Coach. She applies her own personal and career transitions along with several degrees and credentials to provide insight and knowledge into the coaching experience. Christina handpicks her staff, all of whom are ICF credentialed and have unique experiences to create invaluable coaching sessions.