HELEN SNAPE

POWERHOUSE GLOBAL MAGAZINE (PGMAG)

INTERVIEW WITH:

HELEN SNAPE (HS)

I am learning every day that I am bigger and more powerful than I ever thought possible. In that sense, I am still learning who I am.

PGMAG: Helen, you are welcome to today's interview

HS: Thank you for inviting me. It is a real honour.

PGMAG: Please share with our readers who you are and the value you bring to the world.

HS: I am learning every day that I am bigger and more powerful than I ever thought possible. In that sense, I am still learning who I am.

I am a trauma-informed Relationship Coach in the UK and I help women who say ‘Yes’ to everyone else to say ‘No’ by building confidence, boundaries and healthy relationship skills.

I believe we all deserve to live a life we love and we can only really do that when we have healthy relationships. People-pleasing keeps us in unhealthy relationship behaviours and I am passionate about helping people un-learn people-pleasing patterns so they can say ‘No’ and have the best relationships of their lives. Prior to coaching full-time, I had a 19-year career in Human Resources and Learning and Development and spent over 10 years coaching individuals in the workplace. I have a degree in Psychology and I am qualified in transformational coaching, mindfulness and mediation. I am an award-winning international speaker and published author. I have also been on my own personal journey of leaving an abusive marriage where I really felt that I had lost myself, unlearning a lot of what I thought I knew about relationships and learning what actually works! I know what it is like to be driven by the ‘disease to please’ and I am so happy to share what I have learnt to break free and transform your relationships, starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

PGMAG: I have seen so many professionals who struggled to move careers due to the fear of the unknown. How were you able to successfully transit from Human Resources (HR) to a life coach?

HS: It is my soul’s calling to help other women who are suffering from being ‘too nice’ and I believe that is what has pulled me forwards, even on those days of self-doubt or when obstacles set in. A ‘never give up’ attitude is crucial. Allowing myself to grow as a person has also been critical so that I could step into the uncomfortableness of doing things differently, that would lead me towards success. For example, I used to think I had to do everything on my own – which is impossible and keeps us playing small. I have learnt to ask for help when I need it and to accept the help – which helps me get unstuck and move forward much more quickly. I have also surrounded myself with people who support my journey. It is incredibly tough going to make a success of your business if you are surrounded by critics, cynics and those who have no interest in what you are doing. Having people in my life I can share my struggles, questions and wins with and who I can support too is motivating and rewarding.

It is my soul’s calling to help other women who are suffering from being ‘too nice’ and I believe that is what has pulled me forwards, even on those days of self-doubt or when obstacles set in.

PGMAG: Would you agree that coaching is needed to succeed in any form of mission, and what are some of your experiences regarding this?

HS: Most top professionals, from the world of sports to successful entrepreneurs, will have a coach, even if they don’t carry the label of ‘coach’. Coaching and in particular, transformational coaching, is a catalyst for growth, in any area of life.

It helps you get laserfocused on what you want to achieve, set out the steps to get there and then walk with you on that journey. Whilst coaching is valuable in the more well-known areas such as career coaching and business coaching, I believe it creates a space for amazing transformation in our relationships too.

I have had coaching for confidence, mindset, business development, profile-building and relationships and I continue to be coached because I know it helps me grow, change and get results.

My book is ‘Building Healthy Boundaries – an over-givers guide on when to say Yes and how to say No in relationships’. In it I explain what boundaries are, what poor boundaries and good boundaries look like and the impact of those on your life and relationships.

PGMAG: What are the top three books that changed your life?

HS: ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. This book was recommended to me when I was still working in Human Resources and wondering whether to take the leap and become a coach. It helped me take that leap of faith. It is such a rich book, I couldn’t take in all of it’s lessons first time of reading it. I still dip into it from time to time and I regularly recommend or give it away to people! I particularly loved the idea of asking, for each action, does this move me towards pain or power? ‘Women who love too much’ by Robin Norwood could have been written for me. I immediately identified that I had been drawn into bad relationships because I had associated love with pain and it was Robin’s book that made me realise I needed to make my recovery from people-pleasing my top priority in my life.

‘It’s not carpal tunnel syndrome!’ by Suparna Damany, MSPT and Jack Bellis was a lifeline for me when I developed severe repetitive strain injury (RSI) in my hands, wrists, arms and shoulders from overwork and saying ‘Yes’ to every request at work. It was my first wake up call that my physical problems resulted not only from physical matters such as working in one position for hours, ergonomics and posture, but also from my personality and from being a workaholic. It helped me shape a recovery programme for myself and I keep it close by as a reminder to slow down. As Mahatma Gandhi said “There is more to life than increasing its speed”.

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of your life. Learn to love yourself and you will have confidence, better relationships and an unshakeable inner peace.

PGMAG: Tell us about your book and how it would benefit our readers.

HS: My book is ‘Building Healthy Boundaries – an over-givers guide on when to say Yes and how to say No in relationships’. In it I explain what boundaries are, what poor boundaries and good boundaries look like and the impact of those on your life and relationships. I share a little of my own journey of having no boundaries in an abusive marriage, to learning how to build boundaries and then setting out the steps that I took that others can take too! It gives other people the hope that they too can learn how to do healthy relationships. If you find it hard to say ‘No’, find it hard to make decisions, get talked into doing things you didn’t really want to do and find that you complain about things whilst they carry on around you, this book is for you! It is available as a free download from my website.

PGMAG: What would you say to your younger self? HS: Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of your life. Learn to love yourself and you will have confidence, better relationships and an unshakeable inner peace. You deserve a life you love, sweet child.

PGMAG: Thank you for your time - much appreciated.

HS: Thank you so much for having me.

PGMAG: Please share your links with our readers

HS: Sure thing. Website: https://www. helensnape.com Facebook: https:// www.facebook.com/ HelenSnapeCoaching/ Instagram: https://www. instagram.com/helen.snape/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin. com/in/helensnape/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ HelenSnape3