It Takes a Village

Adult mentors make a lasting impact on kids

The unconditional nurturing and support of parents is crucial to a child’s healthy development. But as children grow into adolescents, they often listen to anyone but parents. Adult mentors can help bridge that gap by offering consistent guidance that opens a larger world for kids, helping them dream big and try new things. Take a look at the lasting benefits mentorship can have.

A Supportive, Listening Ear

A 2022 Stanford Medicine study of the adolescent brain confirms that teens tune out parents as they develop independence, which is one reason strong mentors can be beneficial. Many programs, such as local Boys to Men Mentoring, train adults how to listen actively and effectively support adolescent goals. “Our mentors meet teens where they are and are trained in many things from trust-building and multicultural understanding to leadership skills,” says Boys to Men Cofounder Joe Sigurdson.

Boys to Men supports local teens in 6th–12th grade, especially those who lack a father figure or who may have discipline issues at school. The program, which began with eight mentors and small community meetings, now serves 30 schools in five districts countywide. During weekly meetings, young men reflect on what’s working (and not working) in their lives and develop goals with actionable steps. Mentors share their own journey vulnerably, modeling honest communication and building trust. The program helps teens face day-to-day challenges and supports them to grow into the men they want to become.

“The weekly opportunity to meet in an honest, safe space allows the boys the courage and willingness to step up for themselves,” says Sigurdson. “They create purpose, define their own values and live up to their own expectations.”

Local Mentorship Programs

Big Brothers Big Sisters of San Diego County www.sdbigs.org

“Bigs” meet with their matched “Littles” (ages 6.5–16) twice a month for fun, tutoring and activities that encourage and build the child’s potential.

Hermanitas Youth Leadership Mentor Program www.manasd.org/programs/hermanitasprogram

College students (ages 20+) and professional women guide girls (7th –10th grade) in education, career and personal goals. Mentors help build confidence and communication skills. Apply in spring for the upcoming academic year.

Interested in supporting and encouraging local youth?

Potential mentors must fill out an application, get fingerprinted, have a background check done, interview and attend training. It is required to make a minimum one-year commitment.

Community Support and Life Skills

One of the biggest benefits offered by mentors is real life experience and a broader worldview. To bridge the generation gap, Jennifer Scott, who is a youth director for two churches in East San Diego County, founded Faith in Action for local area teens. The program connects youth with older church members who teach vital skills (such as sewing, woodworking and cooking) that are often cut from school budgets.

“Working together step by step, teens and mentors use their skills for service projects that benefit the larger community,” says Scott. Faith in Action’s first project for 2023 is to create fidget quilts for local Alzheimer’s patients.

It Works Both Ways

Scott reports increased confidence in the youth and elderly as they form a symbiotic relationship. “Mentoring goes both ways,” she says. “Teens teach the older folks skills with cell phones and computers. Older folks are eager to encourage youth by attending sporting events and arts activities, and checking up on homework and grades.” Scott is proud of the program’s lasting bonds that benefit mentors, mentees and the community they serve.

Boys to Men mentors benefit from the program’s extensive opportunities. “Our mentors are able to be the [role models] that they didn’t have in their own youth,” says Sigurdson. “By sharing their experiences, they heal too.”

Unique Experiences and Resources

Boys to Men Mentoring www.boystomen.org

Mentors attend weekly meetings at local schools and check in on mentees. Program offers regular training, leadership opportunities and summer programs.

Girls Rising www.girlsrisingsd.org

Female role models serve two age groups: Mentorship provides connection, education and personal development for girls 8–17; the Women Emerging Program pairs professionals with young women ages 18–24 to encourage career readiness and personal development.

Jewish Big Pals www.jfssd.org/center-for-jewish-care/jewishcommunity-services/jewish-big-pals

Supports Jewish children in second grade through high school who are being raised by single parents or grandparents. Meet twice a month for fun activities and community service events.

In a complicated, busy world, parents can’t do it all. Mentorships offer kids a myriad of experiences and opportunities, from exploring careers to networking and outdoor adventures. Boys to Men’s success has garnered strong community sponsorship over 25 years. As a result, the organization offers a wide range of activities beyond meetings, including leadership retreats and weekly summer fun events like hiking, surf lessons, kayaking and catered family movie nights.

Positive Outcomes

Research shows that young people with non-parent mentors benefit academically through better attendance and more positive attitudes. They are also more likely to complete higher education. The social benefits are also significant. Mentorships build confidence and strong relationships, and help teens achieve goals and take on leadership roles, such as becoming future mentors. v

Cherie Gough is an award-winning, San Diego-based writer and proud mom of two. Find her on Instagram @ cgoughwrites.