"My social worker changed my life"

In the months since its release, Split Up In Care: Life Without Siblings has made tidal waves through the industry - provoking a national conversation among social workers, politicians, and those with personal experience.

The BBC documentary, presented by broadcast journalist Ashley John-Baptiste, explores the lives of children and young people who have been forever changed by the impact of sibling separation while in care.

For journalist Ashley, this is something on which he has unique insight.

Ashley was just two years old when he himself entered the care system, moving between four foster families and a residential care home before leaving care at 18. Having grown up believing himself to be an only child, Ashley reveals he was stunned when, in his mid-twenties, he was contacted by a man claiming to be his brother.

“It was such a shock,” Ashley recalls.

“I’D BEEN TOLD BY SOCIAL WORKERS THAT I WAS AN ONLY CHILD, SO WHEN MY BROTHER REACHED OUT, I WAS CONFUSED. I READ HIS MESSAGE OVER AND OVER BEFORE RESPONDING.”

As Ashley and his brother spoke, they established they had the same dad, but different mothers, and that there were more siblings out there. Most overwhelming for Ashey was the discovery that his brother lived close by, in the same area.

Despite the discovery, Ashley and his brother didn’t make plans to meet in person, and their first meeting, a few years later, was a chance one - “a serendipitous moment,” Ashley calls it.

“My partner had given birth to our daughter in April of 2020, and we were at the hospital for a check-up when I passed this man near the entrance,” he says.

“I recognised him straightaway, from his pictures on social media.

“I called out to him sheepishly and, to my relief, he recognised me too. We had a really organic exchange, and spoke for what seemed like ages. It felt like we knew each other.

“This happened during lockdown, at a time when a lot of people were reflecting on their lives, and taking the chance to redress things from their past. Meeting my brother for the first time in person sparked all these questions for me. I’d known care experienced people who had been estranged from their siblings, and meeting my brother sparked this real hyperfocus for me on the issue of facilitating relationships between siblings in care.

“Split Up In Care was the result of that.”

While some children in care, like Ashley, grow up completely unaware of their siblings, it is more common to find cases of looked-after children who do know about their siblings, but are split up.

DESPITE THE LAW SAYING SIBLINGS SHOULD STAY TOGETHER, IF IT IS SAFE AND APPROPRIATE, CURRENTLY AROUND HALF OF SIBLING GROUPS IN CARE IN THE UK ARE SEPARATED.

As well as speaking with people directly impacted by sibling separation in care, the documentary saw Ashley head to Scotland, where a new law is giving brothers and sisters in care more rights over their relationships than ever before. There, Ashley met with foster carer Karen, who runs a farm where split-up siblings can meet to rebuild their bonds.

For the first time ever, cameras were allowed to capture the reunion of five siblings who are living separated, and see each other two hours every two months.

“Travelling to Scotland, and seeing Karen’s initiative was eye-opening,” Ashley explains.

“Karen’s work demonstrated absolutely that there’s no reason sibling groups can’t be in regular contact, even if they’re regions apart. We should be rolling out similar initiatives across every council in the UK.

“I’m really pleased to see the documentary sparking conversations. Labour MP Emma Lewell-Buck raised the issue with the children’s minister during a debate in the House of Commons, and I know that’s an ongoing dialogue. Josh MacAllister, who is leading a review of the care system in England, raised it with his review cohort, and the Children’s Commissioner for England, Dame Rachel de Souza, went on the Today programme endorsing the need for greater protection for sibling relationships.

“I’ve had thousands of messages and comments from people affected by this, and even social workers from local authorities getting in touch to say they’ve spoken about it in their staff meetings, and it’s triggering new conversations. The impact has been phenomenal.”

And Ashley says creating the documentary changed forever the way he sees the role of social workers.

“The documentary gave me a great empathy for social workers, because I think it’s easy for someone who’s been through the system to almost vilify social workers, as they’re seen as the ones making the decisions that sometimes impact you so detrimentally.

“Having spoken to them through the course of this, I have such a greater sense of the pressures they face, with ever diminishing budgets and a great rise in children going into care. I really do sympathise with the challenges they face.”

Ashley John-Baptiste

Ashley even credits one of his own social workers with bringing about real change in his life.

“I was expelled when I was seven or eight, and there were quite a few suspensions throughout my school years,” he says.

“BUT I WAS FORTUNATE TO GET GOOD GCSES, AND MY LIFE CHANGED COMPLETELY WHEN I WENT ON TO STUDY HISTORY AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY.

That could have all been so different though, if my social worker at the time hadn’t spent her weekend taking me to my Cambridge University open day. It was on a Saturday, and there’s no way I would have gone, aged 16, on my own, if she hadn’t offered to take me. Her decision to go above and beyond to support me in my university aspirations changed my life, and put me on an entirely new trajectory.”

In terms of what he would like social workers to take away from Split Up In Care, Ashley says he would ask that they strive to facilitate sibling contact whenever they can.

“Maybe it’s about being a bit noisy in your local authorities, and making sure that the head of children’s services is doing the work to make those contact opportunities available. We must work together to ensure there is a greater investment in the national conversation of how sibling relationships are facilitated,” he says.

“For these young people, their siblings are often their only lifelong relationships - the only relationships that may last once they leave care.

“Giving a looked after child the opportunity to know their brother or sister is life changing.”