THE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE
Published since November 21, 1910 Circulation 3,500 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 8900 114 St. NW University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta T6G 2J7
Editor-in-Chief Andrew McWhinney
News Editor Adam Lachacz
Managing Editor Christine McManus
Arts & Culture Editor Ashlynn Chand
Art Director Peter Elima
Opinion Editor Payton Ferguson
Photo Editor Helen Zhang
Staff Reporter Khadra Ahmed
Online Editor Advertising ads@gateway.ualberta.ca Tina Tai Website www.gtwy.ca
DECEMBER 2019
Director of Finance & Administration Piero Fiorini
Webmaster Hugh Bagan Director of Marketing & Outreach Pia Co
Contributors Michael Abenojar Ira Amiruddin Helen Aquino An Bui Calvin Chan Hannah Dotzenroth Nicole Hartley Yuri Marquez Emily Marriott Jack Stewardson Shaelynn Tabish Cover An Bui
Copyright All materials appearing in The Gateway bear copyright of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent.
Volunteer Want to write, draw, or shoot photos for us? To get involved visit gtwy.ca/volunteer for more information.
GSJS The Gateway is published by the Gateway Student Journalism Society (GSJS), a student-run, autonomous, apolitical not-for-profit organization, operated in accordance with the Societies Act of Alberta.
Printing Printed in Canada at Capital Colour, on FSCÂŽ certified uncoated paper.
ILLUSTRATION MICHAEL ABENOJAR, “ALL HANDS”
DEAR READER, Out of all the months of the year, December is by far the most chaotic, especially when you’re a student. When you’ve got three all-or-nothing finals in two days and you’re trying to book plane tickets home, remembering to eat vegetables and drink something other than coffee can be difficult. For December, we decided to explore that side of the student experience in our second themed edition of the year: the Mental Health issue. This month, our writers, photographers and artists explored the many different ways that poor mental health presents itself. Self-loathing, depression, panic attacks, grief — students live with a wide variety of mental health issues, some lasting a short while and others lasting a lifetime. Just as varied are the ways people respond to mental distress. Some of us prefer making lists of self-care tips, others use films as a temporary escape, and still others lean on friends and family. We hope that this issue reminds you to look out for yourself and those you love. We all need help from time to time, and there’s no shame in reaching out. g Take care, Christine McManus Managing Editor
Peter Elima Art Director
DECEMBER 2019 1
CONTENTS ILLUSTRATION AN BUI, “UNDER THE SEA”
NOTES 4
Concurrent Conversations Read about how one student’s podcast is leading conversations about mental health on campus.
REQUIRED READING 6 8
FEATURES
Movie Therapy Escape into the world of film, just for a little while.
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Explore grief through the eyes of students and their families.
The User’s Guide to Mental Maintenance Ease your mental burden with these tips and tricks.
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THE STUDIO 10 12
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Use stories to make sense of a nonsensical mind.
Horoscopes Learn one little thing you can do to be kind to yourself this month.
Remembering Sunday Hold onto your memories, even when those you love cannot.
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The Life I Want to Own
DIVERSIONS
wrong ways to listen How not to respond when a friend discloses their depression.
Grieving For a Student; Grieving As a Student
Crossword Test your knowledge of successful people who’ve struggled with their mental health.
Comic Fat Tire Vagabond: Battle in the Mountain of Madness
NOTES
TEXT ADAM LACHACZ PHOTO HELEN ZHANG
CONCURRENT CONVERSATIO
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NOTES
T IONS alking about mental health is hard. There’s always a feeling of uneasiness about opening up about such a vulnerable part of you. The pressure of performing as a student combined with feelings of isolation can make an unbearable experience even worse. Reaching out to others can take a lot of courage, but a University of Alberta student-run podcast hopes to connect to others in a big way. For fourth-year University of Alberta medical student Lucy Ni, talking about mental health is easy, and absolutely necessary. In 2017, she began a podcast aimed at bringing mental health to the forefront of conversation. Called Minding Health, the podcast shares resources students can utilize, gives the opportunity for experts to be interviewed, shares strategies for bettering oneself to be exchanged, and allows students stories of funny moments, sadness, or joy to be broadcast. While the podcast is specifically catered to students in medicine, Ni said others engaged in studies within different faculties could still find it valuable. “In its most basic sense, Minding Health just allows students to share their ideas about mental health and to bring more concrete awareness of the wide spectrum that encompasses mental health.” Ni said she was inspired to start the podcast as a way to reach out to students who would not normally attend a mental health workshop, seminar, or event. “The student population is very diverse,” she said. “I wanted to have a social media platform where they could get to know each other, participate in the conversation, or even just passively listen in an anonymous fashion.”
For Ni, the best part about a podcast is its accessibility. As students, this plays a huge role. “We also have busy lifestyles as students. It seems like we are always on the go. A podcast is easy to digest; you can listen to it while you commute or workout. It is a convenient and flexible platform to share ideas on.” Right now the podcast is only available through Soundcloud. Ni hopes to have it on Apple Music and Spotify in the future to ensure everyone has the opportunity to listen to it. For Ni, wellness as a student has always been a “major” interest. She described how students are taught to achieve, but not usually guided through how to do this without incurring damage to their wellbeing. Additionally, growing up in a first-generation immigrant family challenged her ability to discuss mental health at home. “We don’t talk about mental health at home. My family has a holistic approach to wellness. This is both good and bad. Good, in that they recognize everything is connected to wellness, like not getting enough sleep leads to poor health. At the same time, they don’t recognize mental health as being as important as physical health.” “Mental health was not a huge discussion point in junior high and high school,” she said. “It wasn’t till university that I actually began to see the need for it and that balance is crucial to well-being… I saw how friends around me needed support and that I too needed help sometimes.” That pushed her to help hone her own wellness skills and pass those on to others. Since then, her involvement in student wellness has included participating in mental health benefit runs, awareness campaigns, and organizing wellness workshops. Ni was part of the U of A Mental Health Advocates, a group for medical students that organizes mental health events to improve understanding and advocates to the provincial government for change.
Additionally, she participated in the Medical Students’ Association annual Mental Health Dialogues event, where students are encouraged to talk about mental health stories, concerns, or close calls at an open mic session. Usually, about 100 students attend and participate in the safe conversation. “Students share and support each other,” Ni said. “It is always a highlight for me. I love participating in that event. Sometimes all you need to hear is that someone else feels the same or has gone through a similar set of circumstances.” Medical school pushed Ni to reach out and have mental health support as her schedule got busier. “Entering med school, I really saw more need for that kind of activity,” she said. “Type A personalities are the norm and it is very easy to overlook your health and wellness in the pursuit of good marks or performance reviews.” The podcast has allowed her to share more stories, research, and ideas about mental health. Each episode has its own theme that is explored through either an interview or the recounting of experiences. Some of the themes addressed by the podcast include student research into mental health, finding work/life balance, moral distress, and feelings of burnout. “For students, it’s hard to admit you are in a place where you need help,” Ni said. “Additionally, there is a stigma associated with asking for help. It is absolutely okay to reach out and ask. If you are not feeling well, you do not have to be ashamed.” “There are many resources available. I hope that the podcast is one of them; that students listen to and take something away from.” Often times, the best way of helping someone is sharing similar experiences. Accessing a typical mental health resource requires an appointment or visiting during operating hours. Minding Health allows students to see they are not alone, in a new completely accessible way. g
DECEMBER 2019 5
MOVIE THERAPY TEXT ASHLYNN CHAND PHOTO HELEN ZHANG
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REQUIRED READING re you the type of person who constantly watches Netflix and procrastinates on your assignments? If so, you probably don’t feel great about plunking yourself down in front of the screen when you have homework to do. But what if I told you that there is a therapeutic benefit to watching films, and it’s not a complete waste of time? Most students procrastinate not out of laziness, but because of their own self-doubt and anxiety. As a student with an anxiety disorder, I find engaging with art to be crucial for my mental wellness. In Gary Solomon’s book The Motion Picture Prescription: Watch this Movie and Call Me in the Morning, he states that “movies can help because they allow you to be with your emotions and your feelings in an environment which feels safe.” A safe environment allows people to express themselves without restraint. Everyone does something that calms them down in times of stress. For one of my friends, having an intense skin care routine makes them feel better and in control of their life. Their skincare routine is their time to unwind and is a way they can ensure they are taking care of their body and mind. Another friend uses music to help with their anxiety, as lyrics can help them express their thoughts better and allows them to stay in touch with their emotions. I suffer from cleanliness-based OCD, social anxiety, and depression, meaning I have extreme reactions to what other people deem as trivial matters. As a result, I have trouble calming down by myself. As someone who struggles to talk about themselves and explain their feelings, films are my way of dealing with anxiety, as it gives me an outlet to be fully immersed in my own emotions without focusing on my inner turmoil. Instead, I’m focused on the character’s development and their problems. It doesn’t resolve any of my real-world issues. But it can help calm me enough so that I can handle life’s trials. My birthday is on December 10, which is usually two days before finals starts, so it’s an incredibly stressful time of the year. One year, I was feeling incredibly unmotivated, burnt out and like a complete failure. I decided to watch the 1997 version of Anastasia to
try and make myself feel better because it was a movie I had loved as a child. Anastasia is an animated musical historical fantasy loosely based on the legend of the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia; the film fantasizes Anastasia’s life, in a time where she did escape the execution of her family. The premise may sound dark, but it’s a Disney-esque story that ends happily. The “Once Upon A December” sequence as Anastasia dances and visualizes the ghosts of her past is one of my favourite scenes. It’s captivating, haunting, and beautifully animated. The scene is about Anastasia’s grief over her dead family. I am a person who feels strongly for fictional characters, so when I watch this film, I am incredibly upset for Anastasia and can relate to her feelings of loneliness (albeit on a lesser note, as I am not an orphan). My own feelings of sadness are not minimized, but transferred to a different problem that is both imaginary and will be solved at the end of the film. Additionally, it reminds me that there are solutions to all problems and that we aren’t alone. The Princess Bride is another childhood favourite of mine. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with anything and need a break, I watch this movie. There’s an escapism and fantastical aspect of watching films, where being fully immersed in a story can temporarily relieve you of anxiety. From personal experience, when emotions are running high and you’re hysterical, you have to find to steady yourself before discovering a solution. For instance, I sometimes get intrusive thoughts because of my OCD; these thoughts are disturbing, violent and, most importantly, unwanted. When dealing with intrusive thoughts, distractions can help as your mind can focus on something much more immediate. The Princess Bride is a fantasy adventure film where a farmhand named Westley, along with a group of other questionable characters, must rescue his love, Buttercup, from Prince Humperdinck. Depending on the severity of my intrusive thoughts, I can become extremely anxious, which can lead to panic attacks. Watching Inigo Montoya and Westley’s interactions, especially their first meeting where they sword fight, always makes me smile and can relieve me of my intrusive thoughts.
“Who are you?” quips Montoya. Westley responds, “No one of consequence.” “I must know.” “Get used to disappointment,” Westley answers.. “Okay.” Montoya and Westley continue fighting. Immersed in the action, I can relax for a little while. From their overall amazement of each other’s fighting skills to their witty comebacks, it’s difficult not to love them, and to remain upset while I’m watching them. Due to my mental health problems, I sometimes struggle doing schoolwork and end up overanalyzing and stressing about things after they happen. Taika Waititi’s Hunt For Wilderpeople is the perfect distraction: it’s beautifully filmed with wonderful scenery shots of New Zealand and contains good social commentary. Hunt For Wilderpeople is about Ricky Baker (Julian Dennison), a juvenile delinquent, who is taken to live in a remote farm with a foster mother, Bella (Rima Te Wiata), and her husband, Hec (Sam Neill). After one finals season where I almost failed, I watched this film and it was a great distraction from all the worrying, especially since there wasn’t not much I could have done after completing finals. There’s a lot of dark events that happen in the film, but it’s hilarious to see Ricky and Hec’s shenanigans. Honestly, no matter how rough life is, at least you’re not Hec (who gets shot in the butt during said shenanigans). As I watch the lush green forest of New Zealand and the entertaining dialogue of the main characters, my worries subside as my mind wanders. My mental health problems aren’t diminished, nor does my school stress magically disappear from watching films. I may not understand the whole science behind immersing myself in fictional worlds to help with my anxiety, but I do know that it’s extremely soothing. Films may not be your thing, but I think everyone should step back from their troubles every once in a while. Escapism isn’t always a bad thing; in small healthy doses, escapism can be extremely beneficial for someone struggling with anxiety. Remember: nobody should carry their mental burdens all the time. g
DECEMBER 2019 7
REQUIRED READING
The User’s Guide to Mental Maintenance TEXT PAYTON FERGUSON ILLUSTRATION YURI MARQUEZ
s the months get long and dreary, and the sun begins to set earlier and earlier each day, it can be difficult to remain positive. Seasonal Affective Disorder, appropriately abbreviated as SAD, is a deep sadness or depression caused by the changing seasons. It’s generally associated with winter, and for good reason. The cold weather, inability to go outdoors, and minimal exposure to sunlight can really take their toll on us. Even without SAD it can be hard to remain positive. How can you when everything seems so awful? Finals can be really stressful for students, and the holidays can be hard even with the most functional families. Even though everyone around you seems to be in good spirits, it’s often difficult for students to feel the same. Well worry no more: we have a solution for you. The checklist below may not constitute professional therapy, but it will make sure you’re doing all you can to take care of yourself. It’s important to remember, especially in times like these, that you are the most important person in your own life. Check these items off as often as you need to, and remember that it’s always okay to ask someone for help.
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Take care of your hygiene This isn’t just important for smelling good. When you’re hygienic, you feel better about yourself, and your body stays healthier overall. For some people, hygiene is as easy as breathing, but it’s okay if it’s hard for you sometimes. A lot of people struggle, and remember: when you’ve accomplished something, even as small as flossing, it okay to feel good about yourself.
Make time for the things you love Sometimes, as humans, we feel like we have to focus only on the serious things; work, studying, relationships. But don’t be so hard on yourself. If you need to binge watch Bob’s Burgers to get through the day, then do that! You don’t have to be “on” all the time.
REQUIRED READING
Eat well and often I know. I’m guilty myself of skipping breakfast because of stress, or eating half of a cold pizza at two in the morning during finals season. But food is for nourishment. While it’s okay to have a treat sometimes, it shouldn’t make up the majority of your meals. Eating better makes you feel better, and eating regularly provides fuel to your body.
Take care of that parking ticket (or late assignment, or messy room)
Go ahead and indulge in a little retail therapy
Have you been procrastinating something? Come on, I know you have. You’ll feel a thousand times better once you take care of it, I promise. Right now, even as you read this, it’s weighing on you. But once it’s complete? Poof! It’s gone.
No matter what it is, from a pack of gum to a pair of boots, I always feel guilty when I buy something for myself. There’s this weird pressure around our age where we feel obligated to save, but have almost no money to speak of. Our debt looms over us like a back-alley monster, and we don’t know what we’re supposed to do. My advice? If it won’t make you miss rent, go ahead and buy it. You deserve it, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting nice things.
Go outside
Talk to your friends
Yes, I sound like a boomer who’s fed up with the kids today, but I mean it. If you go outside, get some fresh air, maybe even go for a walk, you’ll find that fresh air really can work wonders. In 2017, Forbes published an article about cell phone addiction and the potential dangers to your mental health. It cited a study which linked frequent phone use with a rise in depression and suicide in teens and young adults; in just five years, the suicide rate rose 65 per cent. Getting away from screens for a while is good for you, no matter how much you want to live tweet, or whatever it is the kids do nowadays.
Sometimes it’s hard not to feel like a burden, I understand. You think your problems aren’t worth anyone’s time, or that they shouldn’t have to deal with them. But I’ll tell you something: you’re wrong. Your problems are important. Your friends and family care about you, and they’d rather help you than let you suffer. I promise.
On that note, use social media less Social media has long been known to be a cesspool of ignorance, hatred, and even willful threats of violence. Kelly Marie Tran, an Asian woman, received so much hate online for her role in Star Wars: The Last Jedi that she deleted her Instagram. In an interview with The New York Times, Tran said, “it wasn’t their words, it’s that I started to believe them.” Even the positive things aren’t necessarily good, like an Instagram model is to body image. Online, everything looks absolutely perfect, and that isn’t reality. Everyone edits their images, and people only post the best parts of their lives— so it’s easy to believe that the bad parts don’t exist. Social media can be toxic outside of communicating and sharing with your friends and family, so be cautious of how much you use it.
Work on your personal projects Writing the next great Canadian novel? Participate in national online League of Legends competitions? Whatever your personal goals are, let yourself work on them. Don’t feel like you have to constantly focus on your “real” job, or that your dreams are unimportant. Give yourself the time and means to make it happen.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help It’s a hectic world out there. If you feel like you’re all alone, and that no one could possibly help you, you’re incorrect. This planet is dark and scary sometimes, and diminishing mental health cannot be ignored. Your feelings are important, and there are plenty of people out there who are willing and who want to help you. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to the Peer Support Centre or the Sexual Assault Centre at the university, or you can call the Distress Centre at 403-266-4357, or the Alberta Division of the Canadian Mental Health Association at 780-482-6576. This too shall pass, and the sun will rise again. I promise. g
DECEMBER 2019 9
THE STUDIO
wrong ways � to listen � TEXT IRA AMIRUDDIN ILLUSTRATION HELEN AQUINO
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ďż˝
THE STUDIO
1.
2. 3.
when i tell you i am depressed, it is not an accusing finger for not catching the stiffness in my body when you went for a hug, for not noticing the way my chair remained vacant after the third week of classes. this is not a blame game you play when you break your mother’s favorite vase. my life is not a sentence, you are not the judge; when i tell you i am depressed, it is not an open invitation for you to say: lol me too, finger-gunning your way through this conversation, and treating this sickness like one of your funny memes. depression is not a fan club you join for 10 seconds of popularity; when i tell you i am depressed, i am not asking for store bought sunflowers or good morning texts to wake me from my insomniac slumber. i am not bored and looking for 100 ways to gain Instagram followers or someone to play with on Sundays; when i tell you i am depressed, i am gritting my teeth so hard i hope my jaw breaks. my fingers have grown tired from scrolling down the list of therapists online and failing each time to make an appointment. this is a call for help, and I apologize for making you pick up the phone. g
DECEMBER 2019 11
Remembering Sunday
TEXT EMILY MARRIOTT PHOTO HELEN ZHANG
THE STUDIO
unday afternoons were for being with her at the coffee shop drinking a medium vanilla bean hot chocolate with extra whipped cream (and added chocolate sprinkles, of course). They were for burning my tongue on the hot chocolate served a little too hot. They were for sharing muffins or bagels and they were for loss. Sunday afternoons became a way to track how we were losing her. Going to church and then for coffee every Sunday turned into every other Sunday, turned into occasionally, turned into going to the nursing home for visits instead. Sunday afternoons were the days I could pretend I knew her, and pretend she knew who I was. They were the days I could pretend that she would tell me stories about my mother as a child, she would teach me how to knit, and we would share those gross nilla wafers that to this day remind me of her. But Sunday afternoons couldn’t last too long because she would start sundowning and we would have to get her home. Eventually, I lost Sunday afternoons altogether because I lost her. I had lost her long before her death. She never really knew me. I was always her sister who had died years before, still five years old, or a stranger. But on Sunday afternoons, as we were watching her lose herself and her conception of time, I could pretend that someday, she’d know me; someday, I would get to hear stories about our family. Those afternoons weren’t real. Sunday afternoons were like the steam coming off my hot chocolate, strong at first, then slowly fading away to nothing. Memory is so tenuous. I remember Sundays, but not her laugh. I remember going to a fair together, her walker slowing us down in the hot sun, but not her middle names. I used to think I never knew my grandmother and in some ways, I didn’t. I was still small when she was still lucid enough to tell her stories. I have vague vignettes that come to me sometimes, of us sitting in her living room, walking through her house, sitting on a porch swing. But the memories are scattered, incomplete. There are stories I’ll never hear from her about people I’ll never get the chance to know. I think often of her hands: withered with memories, always cold, but strong. I think of my mother’s hands, confident, but starting to show their wear. And then, I think of my hands: hands that are still learning who they are, hands that are unsteady. By the time I was old enough to have questions I wanted to ask her, questions about her past, my mother as a child, my grandfather I had never met, she had started to forget. In some ways her forgetting made her remember more of her past, but like my memories of her, it was a puzzle. She remembered being afraid of her father, she remembered working in a shop and almost being an old maid, but she couldn’t fit the pieces together. I come back to the hands often. Maybe I never really got to know her, but I know my mother. And my mother knew her. The lessons of our family have been passed down in our hands. My mother knows how to make her rhubarb pie, her hands remember the way my grandmother’s peeled apples. My mother passed these on to me. My hands, unsteady as they might be, are a product of all the women who have come before me. My hands are our living history. Every time I pick up a hot chocolate, I remember Sundays and the stories I yearn to know. g
DECEMBER 2019 13
PAINTING HANNAH DOTZENROTH, “SELF-REFLECTION”
PAINTING SHAELYNN TABISH, “HARROW”
Grieving For a S
a Student; Grieving As a Student TEXT NICOLE HARTLEY PHOTO HELEN ZHANG
“Grief, I’ve learned, is real the love you want to giv that unspent love gathe of your eyes, the lump in in that hollow part of yo just love with no place t — Jamie Anderson
really just love. It’s all give, but cannot. All thers up in the corners p in your throat, and f your chest. Grief is ce to go.�
FEATURES
Connor Davison was approaching his final year of his Bachelor of Science in chemical engineering co-operative program at the University of Alberta this summer, before his life unexpectedly ended. Connor was brilliantly logical in his math, yet remarkably wellrounded in his passion and talent with music. In his spare time — which for most engineering students is non-existent, yet somehow ample in Connor’s life — he taught free piano lessons for youth whom would not otherwise be able to access them. Aside from music, he loved skiing, biking and all things active. He always gave 100 per cent of his effort and attention to everything he did, whether it was an activity he adored or a painstaking assignment in physics 130. When he talked about his day at school, his eyes would spark at the new knowledge he gained, and the new people he met. Knowing Connor as a peer in engineering and through our mutual closeness to Vivienne Li, his long-term girlfriend, I felt compelled to share a bit of his story and to spark a discussion about grief as it pertains to our student body, in his honour. The loss of a student strikes us differently than other farewells. University is so often seen as the big step just before life really “starts,” complicating the tragedy of when a young life ends. In grief, we yearn to surround ourselves with the memories of the one we lost — to place ourselves in their presence and sit with them a while. We cannot rush, as our trembling lips and lungs short on breath take far more than a moment to expel “goodbye.” And how, then, do the families of these students cope? How are students to give mind and time to this process, while our eyes are set on the relentless clock of academia? In our discussion, Connor’s parents provided their response, as did three students experiencing grief for a lost loved one. Connor’s parents, Carrie and Kent Davison, remember him as “a gifted young man — a brilliant student who maintained a 4.0 GPA in third year chemical engineering, but who will be remembered more for his kind and generous soul.” He had a deep love for understanding everything around him: the way things work, and what gives people purpose. He found something to admire in everyone that he met. He loved to see happiness in those around him, and never gave himself the credit for the fact that our happiness was a reflection of him. Everyone loved spending time with Connor, because no matter how much he enjoyed or hated an activity, the only thing that mattered to Connor was bringing joy to the people he was with. Echoing the voices of all those who knew Connor, Carrie and Kent shared their memories of their son. “He loved life and lived it to the fullest, whether being outdoors hiking or skiing in the mountains, playing Chopin or reading Dickens, or just sharing time with his friends and family. He was a thoughtful, genuine, and compassionate person who had an unselfish and caring way of engaging with people.” Although losing their son has been agonizing, the Davisons say that the University of Alberta was very supportive, and presented them with many meaningful gestures in the time following Connor’s passing, such as lowering the flag on campus for the weekend of his funeral. The Associate Dean of Engineering Student and Co-op Services, Don Raboud, was also in attendance for Connor’s
funeral to offer condolences on behalf of the Faculty, and to provide Connor’s transcript. Most notably, the faculty of engineering has informed Connor’s family that his degree will be awarded posthumously. The faculty also worked with Connor’s parents to decide that the degree will be awarded at graduation and that Carrie will be the one to accept it. Carrie and Kent say that “it is difficult to express how meaningful this gesture was to our family.” Consumed by their own journey with grieving, the Carrie and Kent feel short on advice for others, but offer some words on the wisdom that they’ve gathered in the process. “We are just struggling to make our way through this ourselves. I think we’ve learned that the grieving process is an intensely personal one. There’s no right way to go through it and all we’ve done is to try and support each other as best we can.” Offering their lesson to those in a similar heart-space, Carrie and Kent say that, in grieving, it is most important to “be open to support from others — friends, family, loved ones, professionals — because you’re going to need it.”
“I’ve learned to take it slow in school, and it’s okay to not be okay.” Vivienne Li agrees. “Grief is unbelievably common, yet so isolating,” she says. She believes that a dialogue about grief is long overdue on our campus, arguing that while the U of A has recently increased their focus on mental health and stress management, they have overlooked a crucial category. “There are workshops and methods with goals to lower students’ stress at school; however, grief works differently. There are healthy ways to grieve, and providing students a space and an outlet to talk about the person they’ve lost would be a right step forward.” She says, “A grief group can make people aware that they are not alone in their grief journey, and can be a small push to the recovery process.” Connor passed away on May 19, 2019. “I lost my boyfriend and best friend due to a hiking accident, as he fell right in front of my eyes,” says Vivienne.
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FEATURES
“The range of emotions that grief brings is enormous,” says Vivienne. “Some days I… was furious at how a smart, funny and wonderful man can be taken away from the world so soon. Some days I couldn’t speak, and the silence from his absence filled the room. I was surrounded by people, who tried their best to comfort me but didn’t know what the right words were. May 19 would replay in my mind, and I would think of a thousand ways to stop him from going to the mountain. Some days I was just exhausted from living.” Vivienne has learned that impatience in healing is counterproductive; there is no benefit in trying to rush through grief, as the one you’ve lost will stay with you, both in positive memory and in grief. “There will be days where you [will] be upset, be angry, be regretful, be lost, or be numb. Or something that seems utterly impossible — happy.” Vivienne is a student in her final year of a Bachelor of Science in civil engineering co-operative program. In discussing the intersection of school and grieving, she confessed, that it can be useful to shift your focus to friends and schoolwork. “Of course, the pain and sadness are always with me, and there are times where I can’t focus in my classes because so many memories of Connor were formed at school. I’ve learned to take it slow in school, and it’s okay to not be okay.” Reflecting Vivienne’s sentiment that grief is a specified topic of its own, Georgia Dunn presented me with a new kind of grief: “[anticipatory] grief,” which is to experience the symptoms of grief, knowing that a passing is expected but has not yet occurred. In February 2018, Georgia was in her second-to-last year of her Bachelor of Science in civil engineering co-operative program when her mother, Vonda Dunn, was diagnosed with lung cancer. For 18 months following her diagnosis, Vonda fought fearlessly and without complaint. Georgia explains that her experience of anticipatory grief began in July this past summer, when her mother’s diagnosis was reported to be terminal. At this point, Georgia had graduated, but was still working on projects with Engineers in Action (or EIA), a student group and long-term commitment of Georgia’s. After receiving the news, she found it difficult to keep that commitment. “I had no motivation,” says Georgia. “I couldn’t do anything and it just made me feel angry towards school. I turned all my anger toward that and it made me really hate EIA and school, because that’s all I could feel.” Watching her mother disappear, Georgia was haunted by the cognition of her experiences. “When I knew... she was terminal, [I had] a lot of shitty thoughts.” She carries on: “I just thought, ‘well, I’ve already lost my mom. She might as well just die and make it easier on us.’” In time, Georgia was able to put words to what she was experiencing, and confirm its normalcy. “Something that sounds silly — but actually helped — was Googling it and figuring out what [anticipatory] grief was, and knowing I wasn’t [alone].” Georgia suggests how helpful it would have been in a situation like hers to have made a plan with an advisor, before Vonda’s illness went south. “I didn’t know what was going on; I didn’t know how to handle each new scenario. I was just going on day-by-day.” Vonda’s illness was unpredictable, with the tumours metastasizing to her brain a year after her initial diagnosis, and her subse-
quent response to treatment being increasingly erratic. Her absent seizures and uncharacteristic behaviours began just as Georgia was commencing finals season. Vonda began immunotherapy, and the outlook was positive, so Georgia decided to follow through on her trip to Bolivia with Engineers in Action. Within a week of Georgia’s return, Vonda’s health was again deteriorating, far more rapidly. “She was given two to three months, and then died in a month, almost exactly,” recalls Georgia. With the treatment of tumours in her brain, Vonda’s mind deteriorated, causing seizures, severe confusion, and capricious behaviour. “I really felt like I lost her long before she died,” says Georgia. “I felt like I lost her in March [...] and I honestly can hardly even remember before she was sick.” Knowing she was about to lose her mother, Georgia grappled with navigating her desire to cling to every moment with Vonda, while maintaining her commitments and responsibilities. “It’s such a unique perspective because you know they’re gonna die, and you want to spend every second with them, but you can’t.” Looking back, Georgia acknowledges the mistake of placing her time and focus on school. She advises to students with terminally ill relatives, “Don’t worry about getting a semester behind [...] don’t worry about finishing or having that on your transcript. You can redo it. School isn’t going anywhere.” She expressed regret for not having accessed the support available to her, having only contacted one professor and no advisors or counsellors at the University of Alberta. She mentions, “Sometimes it’s different talking about [grief] with a stranger than a friend. With a friend you feel like a burden, but with someone who relates to your experiences, you may feel like less of a burden because they better understand what you need.”
“Something that sounds silly — but actually helped — was Googling it and figuring out what [anticipatory] grief was, and knowing I wasn’t [alone].” DECEMBER 2019 23
FEATURES
Marie Titanich has a similar view. “It is one thing talking to your friends about [grief], but it’s just so much. Why put it on them too?” Marie unexpectedly lost her brother, Tyson Titanich, in the summer of 2017, just as she was going into her second year of a Bachelor of Education Secondary program at the University of Alberta. Marie shares her belief that she could benefit greatly from grief support, as she begins to warm up to the idea of accepting help. “I think [grief counselling] would help, especially because I’m not the type of person who talks about it to people. I like being there for other people; I don’t like people having to be there for me. It’s not something I seek out on my own.” Discussing the possibility of a grief support group on campus, Marie tells me that she often feels overwhelmed by the thought of seeking counsel alone, and how a group discussion may relieve her of the pressure to know how to place phrase to feeling. She finds comfort in relating her experiences to others. “[I] hear other people talking then it’s like ‘oh wait! I can relate to that. This happened to me and it’s [kind of] the same thing.’” Tyson, who worked for the Town of Drayton Valley, had expressed a desire to quit his job to his family shortly before his passing. Marie explains, “[The town was] short-staffed and it was just chaotic. Tyson told us ‘this is really just not a safe place. It’s completely hectic.’” According to Marie, after being assigned to equipment that was unfamiliar to him without proper training, Tyson’s lawn mower flipped onto him, holding him beneath the surface of a pond. Marie remembers that day well. “Mom called us and said ‘Tyson’s been in a really bad accident. Go get your sister and go to Grandma’s house.’” “I just remember telling my sister ‘pack your bags. We’re [going to be] be in Edmonton for a few days. Tyson’s really hurt and he’s gonna have surgery, so pack some clothes, we’re gonna be there for a while,’ not expecting to just end up coming right back home again.” Recalling the circumstances of Tyson’s passing, Marie is still mystified. “One morning he’s there, and then all of the sudden he goes to work and then he’s not coming home again.” Following Tyson’s passing, Marie says she used school as a distraction, but has since realized that it cost her the opportunity to grieve with her family. “My sister, she took a year off — she didn’t go back to school — and I [kind of] wish I did that,” she says, noting that her family was able to heal together, while she regrettably felt isolated — the opposite of what she would advise to any students facing loss. Now caught in an ongoing legal battle between the Town of Drayton Valley and OH&S, Marie expressess how retraumatizing she finds the proceedings. “They asked us to prepare… a victim impact report. Basically you just write how you’ve been impacted, which I think is crazy because how can you, on one page, say how this has impacted you? It’s impacted us in every single aspect of our lives. How can I possibly put that into words?” Marie’s advice to any student experiencing a similar loss is to “just be really kind to yourself, and patient. It’s gonna be really hard and it’s gonna be really long, but it gets easier, a little. After you’re done being numb, it hurts really bad, but then you start to feel happy and see happy things again.” Moving forward, Marie plans to research her options for grief counselling, as well as allow herself to be more vulnerable in grieving
for her brother. She also expresses that if the University of Alberta were to provide a group for students experiencing loss to work on some therapy lessons, and also to connect with others who can relate to their experiences, she would be thankful for the opportunity to coalesce and heal. It can be said without question that grieving is best matched with an array of outlets and supports. Coming together to acknowledge and validate the vast experiences tied to grieving is imperative to healing the trauma of loss. The University of Alberta does not currently offer specified support for grief and bereavement. When I asked Jasmine Bajwa (a satellite psychologist at Counselling and Clinical Services) about the issue, she told me that the University’s previous support group for grief, Lasting Legacy, was discontinued in 2015 from lack of attendance. But it has the potential to return with proper expression of demand. Vivienne says that she has fruitlessly been on the waitlist for a YWCA grief group since June, and sees tremendous value in having a group on campus. In the meantime, some reputable programs include drop-in support groups at Pilgrim's Hospice, or counselling services at Insight Psychological that offers a sliding-scale for cost.
“Just be really kind to yourself, and patient. It’s gonna be really hard and it’s gonna be really long, but it gets easier.” Now, as we move forward and continue to mourn the ones we’ve lost, let us place the focus on celebrating their contributions and our memories. While it is tragic to realize the cut-short promise of Connor’s future, I’m nearly certain that if we were able to ask him, he’d tell us that he was not waiting for life to start. His life was already well underway, and abundant with joy and success at that. Although Connor only shared 21 years with us, his presence is still felt in the memories of his laughter, kindness, and ever-present ear-to-ear grin. We hope Connor would be proud to know that he is still present on campus and teaming with Vivienne to lead others in connection, healing, and rediscovery of joy. “Give yourself time to heal and to form your new normal,” says Vivienne. “Getting through grief is extremely difficult, but people are resilient, and there will be people that will catch you if you feel like falling.” g
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TEXT CALVIN CHAN ILLUSTRATION PETER ELIMA
FEATURES n winter 2017, I had my first panic attack in a public space. The lecture had begun almost twenty minutes
It is an innate human behavior to try and make sense of
ago and the lights had been dimmed for a presenta-
the world around us. Early humans created stories, gods,
tion. The monotony in the professor’s voice, coupled
and folklore to explain human behavior and earthly phe-
with the enveloping languor of a darkened room, encouraged my already untethered mind to wander free. I was already anxious following a career development
nomenon. For instance, the ancient Chinese believed that solar eclipses occurred when a celestial dragon attempted to consume the sun. To restore the light, astronomers in
seminar earlier that day. The presenter had mentioned the
the royal court would fire arrows and firecrackers into the
rise of job insecurity and precarious work, which brought
darkened sky to scare off the eclipsing creature.
back memories of failed job interviews and the fear of becoming an unemployed graduate. A friend I had attended
When I first heard of the story in childhood, it was funny to imagine grown adults marching down a street
the seminar with had joked that if climate change was
smashing pans and lighting fireworks to scare away the
escalating as quickly as scientists say, we wouldn’t need to
darkness. But to watch the sun suddenly disappear, not
worry about finding jobs. I did not know how to respond to
knowing where it had gone or if it would ever return, must
that and so I just smiled.
have been a dreadfully frightful thing. A story of dragons
In another corner, my brain was preoccupied with
eating the sun — silly though it may seem — must have
more immediate concerns. I thought about the upcoming
provided some semblance of comfort. It offered the people
exams for which I had yet to study for. Were my notes
structure and coherence, and an ending to look forward to.
complete? They needed to be. I did not know anyone in
Coming from a science background, I find these stories
that class and was not brave enough to ask a stranger to
enlightening. Science, at its core, is a form of storytelling,
borrow theirs. I also had to return a jacket I had previously
and as scientists, it’s our job to write stories that make
purchased online as it was nearing the end of my 30-day
the world cohere. We use experiments to test formulated
return window. The dread of having to navigate through
models and hypotheses until we find one that fits; a story
West Edmonton Mall’s afternoon sea of rowdy teenagers,
to explain the nature of the universe.
crying children in strollers, and the possibility of a chance encounter with undesirable high school colleagues kept
Modern psychiatry tells us emotional consciousness emerges from constellations of neurons in our brain.
me from checking it off my to-do list. There were the
Billions of cells flicker with electrical activity in a concert
emails I had yet to respond to. The credit card statement I
of neurochemical signals. One neuron stimulates another,
had yet to pay. The assignments I had yet to start.
who in turn, stimulates a third.
The list went on and on, like searing headlights on a highway of unending traffic.
But what story can I tell to make cohere an incoherent mind?
Suddenly, the inevitability of it all — my employability, the destruction of the planet, the unending plague of daily chores, assignments, exams, emails — collapsed down on me at once in heavy waves. The air thickened and I struggled to breathe. An ocean of tears pushed against my skull, and I kept my eyes closed like a dam. If I made eye contact with anyone, I knew the water would break free. Under the dark curtain of my eyelids, I remember hearing the hypnotizing tapping of fingers over keyboards.
“First of all, the brain is very complicated,” Dr. Nick Mitchell told me as I sat in his office. “There’s certain networks in our brain that when they’re not functioning properly, can result in depression, bipolar illness, or anxiety.” Mitchell is the provincial medical director of addiction and mental health for Alberta Health Services and the third psychiatrist I had ever met. To be clear, he is not
The water flowing through the pipes above the ceiling
my psychiatrist, but just a psychiatrist. Mitchell had
panels. The motorized humming of the projector behind
agreed to speak with me to help me better understand
me. And in that moment of increased hypervigilance and
the biology of mental illnesses, and offered to meet me
sensitivity, a question emerged: could anyone see what
for a 20-minute conversation.
was happening to me? When I recounted the story to a therapist, what once
Mitchell explained to me that emotions, memories, and how we respond to social interactions are governed
felt heavy and mulish in my anxious mind took on a new
by various structures in our brain. Often, mental illness-
form; the creatures have shed its excess weight, their
es may be traced back to specific physical traumas like
grotesque figure now plain and ordinary. I sat there, in
concussions, or changes to the body’s physiology caused
his chair, trying to reconstruct in words what no longer
by illnesses or substance use. But in other instances, clini-
existed. To him, the chains that held me down must have
cians may never determine a precipitating cause.
sounded like conventional everyday tasks — benign and harmless. I watched him scribble into his black leather
“In those cases, it’s probably an inherited vulnerability,” he says. “You inherit this genetic risk for it, and something happens which triggers the episode of low mood or
bound notebook
anxiety. And once it’s triggered, it can last for a long period
and I thought to myself, “he must think I’m the stupidest
of time.”
person on the planet.” I did not return to his office after that.
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Mitchell says that many genes have since been identified as being implicated in depression, anxiety, and
FEATURES bipolar disorder — most of which run in families. For most individuals on the mild end of the spectrum, the first line of defense lies with therapy and engaging in healthy coping strategies: modifying your diet, exercising, or altering your sleeping habits. For serious cases, clinicians may rely on medications to rein in their patient’s more difficult to manage symptoms. Most of these act by increasing the activity of neurotransmitters in the brain, compensating for what some scientists believe is the body’s failure to maintain a proper chemical balance. But even then, not every patient will respond to medication. Ultimately, who becomes ill, which symptoms emerge, and why, often remains a neurological mystery.
"Anxiety resists all logic and instead favors absurdity." This crater of knowledge left in modern psychiatry has sowed research branching off into any and all directions. Edward Bullmore, the chief of psychiatry at Cambridge University postulates in his book, The Inflamed Mind, that the pathogenesis of mental disorders may be linked to the human body’s immune system. Research has shown that inflammatory illnesses in childhood are associated with higher rates of depression and anxiety. In the BBC article, “How your belly could heal your brain,” journalist David Robson describes a study in which mice implanted with gut microbes from depressed patients quickly became depressed themselves: giving up easily on challenging tasks and preferring to hide in corners rather than explore new environments. In Moises Velasquez-Manoff’s feature for The Atlantic, “When the Body Attacks the Mind,” Sasha Egger developed symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia at 13, and was originally diagnosed as bipolar and prescribed antipsychotics. When the drugs failed curb his symptoms, his mother, a child psychiatrist, took him to a different neurologist who suspected an auto-immune variant of encephalitis: an inflammation of the brain. When Sasha was treated with antibodies to quell this inflammation, the boy quickly returned to normal. It’s hard to imagine how my anxiety may be rooted in some other yet to be diagnosed immune disorder or my gut microbiome. But if these physical illnesses can so closely mimic mental ones, what does that say about mental disorders themselves? As the conversation drew to a close, I asked him if these mental illnesses could be cured. “We try to treat them to the point of remission, where you have no symptoms left,” he said. “For a lot of people, particularly if they’ve only had one episode, they can eventually come off treatment. But we know that most individuals, over the course of their lifetime, will likely have a second episode.”
“So, there’s no real cure then?” I asked. “No, our understanding is that they can’t be cured in the same way you can cure cancer or cure an infection. Just treated.”
During the period after my first attempt with therapy, and prior to my return to therapy in 2019 (with a different therapist), I tried to make sense of the world in a different way. When I take the bus from Jasper Place to downtown, I pass by the St. Joachim Catholic Cemetery on 107 avenue. When I look out the window on the rows of tombstones, I sometimes wondered what each of their lives might have been like: the jobs they worked and the people they loved, to the lies they told and the secrets they kept. There was Dylan, a young baker who left his family farm in pursuit of a city life. He spends most days apprenticing at an artisan bakery that he hopes to one day take over. Then there’s Shelly, a marketing executive on weekdays and an avid apiarist on weekends. She lugs her crates of honey and beeswax to a local farmer’s market every Sunday morning, hoping to build a brand for herself. In each of these reconstructed worlds, my characters lead lives not dictated by an anxious mind. Each working towards some great ending. Like these fictional lives I conjured, I tried that year to create in my place, a new me. Someone who was fashionable and personable, and most of the time it worked. I walked through campus carrying the same boundless confidence Shelly might embody, as she strutted down the halls of a business high-rise. When I met new people, I would don the face of Dylan and channel the enthusiasm and congeniality of a newcomer trying to make it in the big city. But on other days, anxiety and doubt would seep in through my story. Anxiety resists all logic and instead favors absurdity. It can seep in through the most microscopic of cracks, trickling down the walls of your subconscious, and seizing around vulnerable wounds. There, it slowly erodes away at the fabric of rationality, and unravels any conscious attempt at logic or reason. A call from a strange number can prompt in my mind countless destructive scenarios. Maybe a call from the hospital to tell me of the passing of a loved one. Or a message from the university informing me of my expulsion. No reasons were ever necessary. My own image in a store window or other reflective surface can trigger a wave of overwhelming self-consciousness. The confident outfit I had planned that morning dissolves into a pool of shame and embarrassment. I begin to drown. Why is this sweater so ill fitting? Why did I pair it with these jeans? How many people have seen me like this? When it happens, I just want to disappear. On the rarest of days, anxiety takes hold long before I’ve had the chance to begin weaving a story. On those days, I do not want to leave the house at all.
FEATURES
"Maybe not all stories have some emotionally satisfying ending. And maybe that's okay." I first started reading tarot cards in 2010, long before I had recognized my anxiety had become a problem. Tarot reading for me began at first as something fun and largely meaningless. But over time, tarot has evolved into a tool, a framework by which to create coherence for a fractured, irrational existence. On Monday mornings, I pull three cards from the deck, each of which provides a loose framework by which to understand my week. The eight of cups, for instance, depicts a man with a cane walking away from a series of stacked cups at the edge of a river. The cups are arranged in an incomplete pattern, looking as if something was missing. This card often represents transition — withdrawing from something no longer fulfilling to search for something new. The week I drew the eight of cups in 2018, I left a part time writing job. I was great at it and largely fulfilled my responsibilities on time. However, the constant requirement for me to meet and interview strangers exacerbated my social anxiety; a beast with a life of its own. I began to fake illnesses and other emergencies to avoid going to the office. Often in stories, it’s the ending that gives past moments meaning. It’s at the end where loose threads become tied and sense emerges from the muddled waters. The day I left the job, a friend took me out for pizza. And by year’s end, I had pulled from my tarot deck the ace of pentacles. The card depicts a hand emerging from the clouds offering forth a large coin. I started a new position elsewhere that winter. I don’t know if the cards are truly divinitory. More likely, I’m seeing in the cards what I want to see, using them to bring into light the decisions and choices that had become lost in the murky anxiety-ridden waters of my mind. A tool for storytelling. I told my friend Jacob about my tarot practice on a warm autumn afternoon. The leaves had turned yellow and the fall breeze began to tear at the tree’s branches. I met Jacob three years ago in 2016, and in the year prior, he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. At the time, ADHD was exacerbating his symptoms of anxiety and depression. Since then, he has relied on medication and therapy to quell a turbulent mind. He told me that we all learn to make sense of the world in some way. “How do you make sense of living with your mental illness?” I asked. “I think of happiness as my purpose,” he said. “I ask myself, ‘is what I’m doing going to make me or
someone I care about better in some way?’ If it’s a yes, then I’ve succeeded. Maybe that involves living through a hell-ish reality, but I can learn to make peace with that.” “Do you ever think: why you?” I asked. “Why you’re the one who has to struggle with this?” “Sometimes out of frustration, but I don’t ask it to look for an answer,” he said. “Sometimes things just are, and we don’t know why.” “I guess you’re right,” I responded. Maybe not all stories have some emotionally satisfying ending. And maybe that’s okay.
On a bitter winter evening in 2017, after the initial failed therapy session, I came home to my mom preparing dinner. It had been a busy day for us both. To save time, she had opted to prepare a frozen, store-bought lasagna. We sat alone at the dining nook, occasionally glancing at the oven waiting for a timer to announce when it was time to eat. The kitchen felt warm and safe, illuminated by the yellow glow of the oven; a sanctuary amidst the snow and winds of a brutal Albertan winter. Like me, my mom isn’t particularly religious, but in her adult life had begun to explore various spiritual practices. When I first told her about my struggle with anxiety, she purchased for me a brilliant amethyst geode with clusters of dazzling violet and fuschia. Amethyst, she believes, can be used to calm the body, attracting positive energy and repelling negative emotions like fear, stress, and anxiety. She encouraged me to leave it by my desk, somewhere I tend to spend a lot of time. I don’t know if it really works, but looking at it now I can’t help but think of my mom and smile. As we waited for the lasagna to cook, I asked her that evening whether she thought things would ever change for me. Growing up I had always been her “worrier,” – the one who’d pack for trips weeks in advance, the one who’d call to make doctor’s appointments for her but never for himself, and the one who would cry in the bathroom in the middle of the night for no particular reason. It's a suffocating feeling to experience something and never understand why. The oven timer went off and she got up to check on the food. “Maybe,” she said as she lifted the lasagna out of the oven before turning back towards me. The steam rising in the air, the snow falling in the window behind her. “We’ll just have to see.” g
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DIVERSIONS
HOROSCOPES TEXT PIA CO VISUALS PETER ELIMA
ARIES I foresee a bubble bath, wine, and your favorite Netflix show in your future. Take some time to relax and ground yourself — you deserve it.
TAURUS
GEMINI
CANCER
Do yourself a favor and make sure to meet your sleep quota this month to the best of your ability. You’re always working so hard, and you need to rest.
Remember that grades are just a single metric of how you do in a single class. They mean nothing about who you are as a person: valuable, wonderful, and worthy of a good future.
Let it out, cry if you need to, it is really good cathartic release. Allow yourself to feel those surging emotions and address them head on — it is okay to feel.
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DIVERSIONS
LEO
VIRGO
LIBRA
SCORPIO
Let go of what you haven’t achieved this year and think about your successes. No matter how incremental, progress is progress, and you are growing and learning. That’s worth celebrating!
You don’t have to worry about things alone! You have good friends and people who care about you, and it is totally okay to ask for help or for an open ear.
You’re always looking for validation from other people. Define your self-worth by who you are, not by what others think of you.
Learn to balance your boundaries: don’t agree to too many commitments and don’t shut yourself out of potentially good things because you feel underqualified.
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
I’m not going to tell you to learn to love yourself before you love others — you absolutely should love other people. The problem is that you don’t reserve any of your love for yourself. Be gentle with yourself.
Things won’t always be in your control. Try to take comfort in that instead of feeling stressed. The universe is looking out for you, and things will work out, I promise.
Go ahead and order yourself your favorite thing to eat. You deserve that warmth and comfort.
You’re going to make mistakes. But people are imperfect, so you need to forgive yourself. You’re human and failing is part of growing.
GET YOUR TICKETS ONLINE
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uOFa student account manager Student Account Manager provides students access to their free tickets for Golden Bears & Pandas regular season conference events as well as their University of Alberta student pricing for conference playoff events. Students will be able to redeem and manage their tickets on their mobile device or desktop computer.
login with your uOFa email everything you need to know at
betheroar.ca @bearsandpandas
DECEMBER 2019 33
DIVERSIONS
CROSSWORD TEXT & PUZZLE CHRISTINE MCMANUS ACROSS 4. After going through childhood sexual abuse and developing PTSD, this self-made billionaire went on to become television’s most iconic talk show host. 5. This renowned female WWE fighter and former UFC champion has depression. 8. This Pretty Little Liars actress recently explored her experiences with anorexia nervosa in her 2017 film, Feed. 10. The subject of the movie A Beautiful Mind, this talented mathematician had schizophrenia for most of his life. 11. The creator of Peanuts, who suffered from generalized anxiety. 12. This scientist, widely considered to be the “father of evolution,” suffered from severe agoraphobia and other psychological symptoms. 14. This comedienne and talk show host has grappled with aerophobia, or a pathological fear of flying, for years. 15. Best known for writing The Grapes of Wrath, this author had anxiety and manic depression.
DOWN 1. The Scream, one of the most famous Expressionist paintings, is believed to have been inspired by this artist’s visual and auditory hallucinations and panic attacks. 2. Known for her acting talent and biting sense of humour, this sci-fi princess led brutally honest discussions about bipolar disorder and substance abuse. 3. This gold medal-winning Olympic swimmer has ADHD and intermittent depression. 6. Best known for playing a certain boy wizard with a lightning scar, this actor has obsessive-compulsive disorder. 7. One of the most recognizable rappers of our era, this person suffers from depression. 9. Also referred to as “The Rock,” this actor, producer, and former wrestler has openly talked about his experiences with depression. 13. This British singer known for her powerful voice experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her son. Find answers on our website, gtwy.ca
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Student Admission: $10 ($8 MatinÊe) Metro Cinema is a community-based non-profit society devoted to the exhibition and promotion of Canadian, international, and independent film and video. metrocinema.org Saturday Morning Cartoon Cereal Party! December 7 @ 10AM The cartoon lineup is always a mystery, but you’ll see both Holiday faves and obscurities spanning the 40s through the 80s, all punctuated with vintage commercials and PSAs! Adults: $16, Students/Seniors: $14, Children (12&under): $12. Admission includes cereal.
Gremlins December 20 @ 9:30PM A boy inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.
Brain Damage
December 30 @ 7PM One morning, a young man wakes to find that a small, disgusting creature has attached itself to the base of his brain stem. The creature gives him a euphoric state of happiness but demands human victims in return.
Metro Cinema at the Garneau 8712-109 Street | metrocinema.org
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Fat Tire Vegabond: battle in the Mountain of Madness! We last saw our hero in the grip of Eternal joy!!
Little does the Vegabond realize, his aren’t the sole wheels in these caverns...
By: Jack Stewardson Instagram: @Koolestman
03 P 04 10 P 10 P 10 B 11 P 11 B 11 B 17 B 18 P 18 B 18 B 24 24 24 25 P 25 B 25 P 30 30 31 B 31 P 31 P
HEY KiD!!
Your OlD School Master, Mr. Hockey-Gloves is calling you to his OFFICe. PRONTo!
Still inebriated by the cave’s Mystical properties, the Vegabond readies himself to Duel his “Mentor”... C
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Chauvanist FOOLS!
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You’ve caused a CAVe-In!!
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January 03 Pandas Hockey vs Saskatchewan 7:00pm 04 Pandas Hockey vs Saskatchewan 2:00pm 10 Pandas Basketball vs UBCO 6:00pm 10 Pandas Hockey vs Mount Royal 7:00pm 10 Bears Basketball vs UBCO 8:00pm 11 Pandas Basketball vs UBCO 5:00pm 11 Bears Basketball vs UBCO 7:00pm 11 Bears Hockey vs Mount Royal 7:00pm 17 Bears Hockey vs Lethbridge 7:00pm 18 Pandas Basketball vs MacEwan 5:00pm 18 Bears Basketball vs MacEwan 7:00pm 18 Bears Hockey vs Lethbridge 7:00pm 24 Bears Volleyball vs Manitoba 6:00pm 24 Bears Hockey vs Calgary 7:00pm 24 Pandas Volleyball vs Manitoba 7:30pm 25 Pandas Volleyball vs Manitoba 5:00pm 25 Bears Volleyball vs Manitoba 6:30pm 25 Pandas Hockey vs Calgary 7:00pm 30 Pandas Basketball vs Calgary 6:00pm 30 Bears Basketball vs Calgary 8:00pm 31 Bears Volleyball vs Calgary 6:00pm 31 Pandas Hockey vs Regina 7:00pm 31 Pandas Volleyball vs Calgary 7:30pm
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01 Pandas Hockey vs Regina 2:00pm 01 Pandas Volleyball vs Calgary 5:00pm 01 Bears Volleyball vs Calgary 6:30pm 07 Pandas Basketball vs Saskatchewan 6:00pm 07 Bears Hockey vs Manitoba 7:00pm 07 Bears Basketball vs Saskatchewan 8:00pm 08 Pandas Basketball vs Saskatchewan 5:00pm 08 Bears Basketball vs Saskatchewan 7:00pm 08 Bears Hockey vs Manitoba 7:00pm 14 Pandas Volleyball vs Regina 7:30pm 15 Pandas Volleyball vs Regina 5:00pm
BeTheRoar winter semester home games
STAY COZY IN CLASS Zip up in the soft, plush warmth of fleece.
Women’s Fluffy Yarn Fleece Full-Zip Jacket $39.90
Men’s Fluffy Yarn Fleece Full-Zip Jacket $39.90
Shop in store at UNIQLO’s brand new West Edmonton Mall location, or online at UNIQLO.ca UNIQLO West Edmonton Mall, 8882 170 St NW, Edmonton AB
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2019-11-14 4:51 PM