Bound to be crazy

Some people never go crazy; what truly horrible lives they must lead.”

— Charles Bukowski

I think crazy gets a bad name. Conventionally, crazy connotes instability, sizeable phenomena, and even some degrees of wildness. But it’s not to say that any of these characteristics are bad. I believe life is often created and molded through these moments, and that was exactly how UB Bound is to me.

Throughout my UB Bound journey, I was thoroughly blessed with an amazing family of friends, two Singaporeans (Natasha and Felix) and an exchange student from UK (Melina) who lived down the hall. Of course, it didn’t start out wholesome from the get-go and this was one of the first crazy things that happened. Now imagine three Singaporeans attempting to check into their dorms early, with no clue whatsoever how to navigate our Minecraftlooking dorm complex, in the beautiful mid-winter gusts with their lives’ worth of suitcases. We looked ridiculous. And it was perhaps so that Aquila, a well-meaning cleaner, walked us to our room with CRAZY energy, settled us in, and introduced us to a friend down the hallway. By another stroke of crazy, my extroverted buddies and I decided from then on that we should always just go to Walmart together, cook dinner together, stroll into our Orientation sessions late with style, have dance, gym, and martial arts sessions all at once in our common lounge, and INVOLVE THE WHOLE FLOOR. Trust me, it’s crazy.

We learned and grew together.

I never liked cooking, so I learned to assist Mel and Nat. Felix didn’t know how to laundry, so she learned what shouldn’t go into the dryers. Mel learned that her footsteps are more like floatsteps and she’ll scare the hell out of us when she enters a room without speaking. Nat and I learned to do the dishes before *coughs* somebody gets mad. It was a whole process and we got frustrated — even passive-aggressive sometimes (c’mon, we’re all girls, haha), but more importantly, we learned to be adults and a family who’d watch out for one another, protect and respect spaces, be vulnerable and open to new experiences and people we meet.

As a highly introverted cat-human who is used to solo traveling, the constant interactions with this bunch felt absolutely crazy. I mean, we literally see one another every minute of the day, apart from lesson times and shower times, there. We were inseparable. This was something I never thought I, of all people, would enjoy. Yet now, as I’m writing this, alone in my apartment, I miss hearing the screams, the laughter, the clatter of dishes, and the rustling of clothes.

So crazy number 1: Finding a family and community halfway across the world

The next crazy thing was the crazy amount of things to do, all the time.

I quote Mel: “It feels like from the moment we landed in Buffalo, we never stopped moving?” The truth is, we didn’t want to stop. There was always something going on somewhere: Health and wellness week, Escape Room sessions, therapy dogs, basketball games, job fairs, silent disco, dorm events, birthday celebrations, festival celebrations, ski trips, concerts, shows. Not only was there a constant number of activities, they were so diverse and so inclusive that there would definitely be something for anyone. Additionally, the main difference between events here and back home is that people actually participate in them! UB has a phenomenal spirit and since most of these events are free, undergrads flood them.

What’s more, clubs and societies host events too, and the best way to make friends and learn more about the American culture is to befriend Americans! By the end of our Spring semester, our little four-women family grew to about 20 with people from all around: our entire floor, people we met and connected with from various clubs and societies, and friends of friends! We learned about America and told them about Singapore! We did hotpot sessions and BBQs, but more often than not, we were running all around, doing anything and everything.

(Clubs I’m in now: Amnesty International, BRIDGES – InternationalStudents’ Network, Buffalo Undergraduate Consulting Group,Entrepreneurship Club, Improv Theater Club, oSTEM, Outdoor AdventureClub, Singapore Student Association, UB Advocates for Girls’ Education,Undergraduate Society of Feminists, United Nations Student Association,Women in Management; Visit: sa.buffalo.edu to look at the full list!)

Of course, as students, we also had to commit to studying and this was another kind of insanity. In Singapore, we have six majors to choose from, and 12 to 15 credits would feel like too much. In Buffalo, there are 121 departments, each with major and minor options, and most students do about 16 to 18 credits per semester (about 6 to 8 classes) (Check out available courses/ modules here: catalog.buffalo.edu). You are literally spoiled for choice! Evidently, being the overachiever and indecisive person I am, I decided to do 23 credits. The thing is, I have never enjoyed myself more because I was not able to concentrate on finishing my major requirements, but also take up a bunch of courses that I was interested in (i.e. Intro to Law, Education and Social Policy, Intro to Music Theory, YOGA, Grief and Loss). What’s more, the home campus’ tuition is a flat fee with 12 or more credits (i.e. I pay the same amount doing 12 credits and 23 credits)! There are also research opportunities and internships on campus that you can potentially participate in.

Crazy number 3: Killing myself slowly with 23 creditsWas it crazy? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes.

There were definitely moments where I felt burned out having so many things going on all the time, but it is also through these experiences that I learned my own limits and how to properly take care of myself. I am an avid advocate of solo travel, and in certain ways, coming to Buffalo is its own form of solo traveling.

You are far from home, in a land you only know from TV screens and movie theaters, without your family and friends to pick up after you, and having to create the best five months you can possibly have. As much as my little family and housing arrangement mishap was the greatest blessing in disguise that could’ve happened, it all came down to personal choice when I participated in these activities and events.

When you travel solo and as we all kind of did in our own capacity (Nat, Felix, Mel, and I all found our own niches), you learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, to deal with the scary feeling of being completely alone, of being disconnected from home, of not having a plan. You learn to be okay with yourself and your thoughts, you learn who you are without the people who made up your whole life, you learn what self-care looks like, or you will when your body tells you otherwise, you learn to push yourself out of your comfort zone and stretch your horizons, you learn how little and how much time changes things. You learn to appreciate unexpected kindness from strangers, to grow through struggle, to push yourself and always go beyond, and finding greater, more beautiful things and people. Or you don’t. The best part about traveling out and living abroad is that you get the agency to chart however your X number of days or months will turn out and that incredible freedom is a chance you don’t get all too often.

As for me, I resisted change, but eventually I accepted it. And now, I’m sitting here back in Buffalo, with a kitten on my lap, a relationship that is another crazy story on its own, plans to work and start a career here, and the possibility of achieving that and much more.

Is this all crazy? Yes.

But, “some people never go crazy; what truly horrible lives they must lead” indeed.

I challenge you to be crazy at least once in your life; trust me, it will change your life.